Quick Answer

No, using an anal dildo won't permanently stretch you out. Your sphincter muscles are elastic and naturally return to their normal tone within minutes to hours after use, just like any other muscle in your body. As long as you use beginner friendly anal plugs or the best anal dildo for first time users with proper sizing, plenty of lube, and don't force anything, your body will bounce back completely—even with regular use over time.

Introduction

Worried that using an anal dildo will stretch you out forever? You're definitely not the first person to wonder about this. The short answer is no—your body bounces back naturally when you use toys safely. Whether you're looking for the best anal dildo for first time use or just want to know how to safely use an anal dildo, understanding how your body actually works takes away most of the stress.

What Actually Happens to Your Body During Anal Play

Most fear around anal toys comes from not knowing how your body works. Your anatomy already handles stretching every day during normal bathroom use. Once you understand the basics, it's way less scary.

Your Muscles Stretch and Go Back

You have two muscle rings that naturally stretch and contract all the time. Using an anal dildo makes them stretch more than usual, but muscles are elastic—they return to their resting position. As long as you don't force anything, they'll tighten back up after you're done.

How Long Until You're Back to Normal

With small toys, most people feel normal again in 15-30 minutes. Bigger toys might take a few hours. You'll feel relaxed right after, but by the next morning you're back to baseline. Even with regular large toy use over months, everything reverses when you stop.

Why Permanent Stretching Rarely Happens

Your sphincter muscles always want to return to their natural tone. People doing anal play for years don't stay loose unless there's actual injury from poor technique. Use enough lube, start with beginner friendly anal plugs, and stop if it hurts—your body will maintain itself just fine.

When Stretching Becomes a Problem (And How to Avoid It)

There's a clear difference between normal stretching and actually hurting yourself. Most people who follow basic safety steps never have issues. Problems only happen when you ignore warning signs or skip important precautions.

  1. Safe play feels like pressure—damage feels like pain. Normal use means feeling stretching and fullness, not sharp or burning pain. Pain means stop immediately. Actual damage happens when you push through pain, use toys that are too big, or skip lubricant. Safe play means going slow and never forcing anything.
  2. Most injuries come from going too fast or too big. Doctors say the anal toy injuries they see aren't from the toys themselves—they're from improper use. Tears and fissures usually happen when people skip warm-up, don't use lube, or jump to large sizes too quickly. When you follow basic guidelines, anal play is low-risk.
  3. Small tears heal but are easy to prevent. If you get a small tear, it typically heals within a few weeks. But most injuries are completely avoidable. Use plenty of lubricant, start with beginner friendly anal plugs, and stop if anything feels wrong.
  4. Keep reapplying lube throughout. Your anus doesn't self-lubricate, so you need to keep things slippery. Apply lube generously at the start and add more whenever things feel dry. This single habit prevents most problems.
  5. Give your body recovery time between sessions. Wait at least 24-48 hours between sessions when starting out, and never play again until any soreness is gone. Daily use without breaks can cause irritation.
  6. Start with beginner-sized toys. The best anal dildo for first time users should be slim—about one or two fingers wide. Only size up when your current toy feels completely comfortable.
Close-up of purple silicone anal dildo with flared base

How to Use an Anal Dildo Safely: Step-by-Step

Step 1: Apply More Lube Than Seems Necessary

Lubrication matters more than anything else. Here's exactly what to do:

What to Do How to Do It
Pick the right lube Get water-based lube—it works with all toys and cleans up with soap and water. Silicone lube works too, but only if your toy isn't silicone. Skip anything that says "desensitizing" or lists benzocaine in the ingredients.
Put it on thick at the start Cover the whole toy with lube until it's shiny and slick. Squeeze about a nickel-sized amount directly onto your anus and spread it around the opening with your fingers.
Keep adding more Add more lube every 5-10 minutes, or right away if you feel any drag. Pull the toy out a bit, add more to the shaft and your anus, then keep going.

Step 2: Pick a Smaller Size Than You Think

Getting the size right matters more than most people realize. Here's how to do it:

  1. Choose your first size. Measure your index or middle finger at the thickest part—that's your starting point, usually 0.75 to 1 inch wide. Look for toys labeled "beginner" or "small" and check the actual measurements. Don't buy anything over 1.25 inches wide for your first toy.
  2. Move up slowly. Stick with your current size for at least 2-3 weeks. When you size up, go only 0.25 inches bigger, not a full inch jump. Buy one new size at a time and write down what works so you remember.
  3. Know when you're ready for bigger. You should be able to use your current toy 4-5 times with no trouble and keep it in comfortably for 15 minutes. If you still need lots of prep time or feel any discomfort, stay at your current size longer.

Step 3: Prep Your Body First

Warming up prevents pain and problems. Don't skip this, especially at first.

  • Start on the outside. Get comfortable on your side or back. Put lube on your finger and rub slow circles around your anus for 5 minutes. Don't insert anything yet—just get the area used to touch. Press lightly on the opening without going in.
  • Use fingers before toys. Add more lube and slowly slide your fingertip in while breathing normally. Hold it there for 30 seconds. Push in to your first knuckle and pause again. Once one finger goes in and out easily, add lube and try two fingers. Move them gently in small circles.
  • Breathe slowly. Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, out through your mouth for 6 counts. Do this 5-10 times before you try the toy. When you're ready, breathe out slowly as you push the toy in gently. If you catch yourself holding your breath or tensing up, stop and start over. Plan on spending 15-20 minutes warming up during your first month.

What Should You Look for When Buying Your First Anal Dildo?

Buying your first anal toy can feel overwhelming with so many options out there. But you really only need to focus on a few key factors to find something safe and comfortable.

Check the Size Before You Buy

Most beginners buy toys that are too big. Here are the measurements you should actually be looking for:

Measurement Ideal Range for First-Timers Why This Matters
Diameter (width) 0.75 to 1 inch About the width of your index or middle finger. Starting bigger causes discomfort and discourages people from trying again.
Insertable length 3-4 inches You don't need depth when starting out. Shorter lengths are easier to control and less intimidating.
Product labels to look for "Beginner," "Slim," "Starter," "Small" These terms indicate the manufacturer designed it for first-time users.

Even if these measurements seem really small, they're the right place to start. You can always size up later, but starting too big creates problems. Look for products specifically marketed to beginners.

Choose Body-Safe Materials Only

Not all toy materials are body-safe. Here's what to buy and what to avoid:

Safe materials to buy:

  1. Body-safe silicone - Flexible, warms to body temperature, easy to clean, and the most popular choice for beginners. A quality silicone toy costs $20-40.
  2. Glass - Firm, non-porous, lasts forever, and easy to sterilize. Good if you want something smooth and solid.
  3. Stainless steel - Similar to glass but heavier. Very durable and body-safe.

Materials to avoid:

  • Jelly, rubber, PVC, or anything that smells like chemicals out of the package
  • Toys that are suspiciously cheap (under $10-15)
  • Anything that doesn't clearly state what it's made from

If the product description doesn't specify "body-safe silicone" or another safe material, skip it.

Make Sure It Has These Safety Features

Every anal toy must have these two design elements for safe use:

Feature What to Look For Why It's Essential
Flared base The base should be significantly wider than the widest part of the toy—at least 1.5-2 times wider Without this, the toy can get pulled inside your body and require emergency room removal. This happens more often than you'd think.
Tapered tip The tip should be pointed or gradually widen from a narrow point Makes insertion much easier by letting your muscles gradually adjust instead of forcing them to accommodate the full width immediately.

Don't compromise on either of these features. A toy without a proper flared base is dangerous, period.

Once you've got some experience under your belt and feel ready for something fancier, toys like the Tracy's Dog DRILLME AI Thrusting Vibrator offer a lot more options. It's body-safe silicone with 10 vibration modes and 3 thrusting speeds, plus it's waterproof and lasts up to 90 minutes per charge. You can control it with an app if you want that extra customization.

Couple on bed with purple silicone anal dildo

Should You Start with a Plug or a Dildo?

For most beginners, a plug is easier. Plugs stay in place on their own, while dildos need you to hold and move them the whole time. Both work fine for first-timers—it just depends on what you're looking for.

Plugs and dildos do different things. A plug has a wide part in the middle that tapers down to a narrow neck. Your muscles close around the neck and hold it in place. You put it in and leave it there. A dildo doesn't have a narrow neck—you hold it and move it in and out yourself. This takes more effort and coordination when you're still figuring out what feels okay.

Feature Anal Plug Anal Dildo
What it does Stays in place after insertion You move it in and out
Shape Wide middle, narrow neck Same width throughout, no neck
How you use it Insert it and let it sit Hold it and control the movement
Hands-free? Yes No
Good for beginners who want To get used to fullness without effort To control the sensation and try different movements

Many people prefer beginner friendly anal plugs because once it's in, you just relax. You can wear it for 10-15 minutes while lying down or doing something else. There's no pressure to move it or figure out what to do next. Dildos let you control everything—you can stop, adjust, or change angles whenever you want. Some people like having that control from the start.

Pick based on what sounds better to you. Want something simple that doesn't require effort? Get a plug. Want to control the sensation yourself? Get a dildo. Most people end up getting both eventually since they're different experiences.

First Time with an Anal Dildo? Here's What to Do

Your first experience with an anal dildo goes much smoother when you know exactly what to do.

Step 1: Get Everything Ready (1-2 hours before)

Use the bathroom so you feel confident. Take a shower and wash with mild soap. Trim your fingernails short. Set up your space with the toy, lube, towel, and a pillow nearby. Give yourself 30-45 minutes with no interruptions. Lock the door and relax—being calm helps your body cooperate.

Step 2: Pick Your Position

Lie on your side with your top knee pulled toward your chest and bottom leg straight—this works best for most beginners. Or lie on your back with knees bent and falling open to the sides. Skip any position that requires balance like standing or squatting.

Step 3: Warm Up First

Put lube on your finger and massage around your anus for 5 minutes. Slowly insert one finger, hold for 30 seconds, then try gentle movement. Add more lube and try two fingers. Move them in small circles. This step takes 5-10 minutes minimum—don't rush it.

Step 4: Insert the Toy Slowly

Cover the toy and your anus with plenty of lube. Place the tip against the opening without pushing. Breathe out slowly and apply gentle pressure. When the tip enters, pause for 30 seconds. Push in another inch and pause again. Keep going slowly with frequent breaks. If you feel sharp pain, stop and add more lube. The widest part feels like the most pressure, then it gets easier.

Step 5: Know What's Normal After

You'll feel loose or relaxed for 15-30 minutes—totally normal. You might feel like you need the bathroom even when you don't. Some dullness or light soreness can last a few hours. By tomorrow, everything feels normal again. Sharp pain, bleeding more than a few spots, or soreness past 24 hours means you need to go slower next time.

Woman holding purple silicone anal dildo in pool

How to Care for Your Body Before, During, and After

What to Do Right After Playing

Taking care of yourself immediately after helps prevent soreness:

  • Clean your toy with warm water and mild soap right away
  • Wash yourself with a damp cloth or hop in the shower
  • Skip harsh soaps or alcohol wipes—they'll irritate the area
  • Apply unscented moisturizer or aloe gel around the outside if you feel tender
  • Drink some water and use the bathroom if you need to
  • Put on loose, comfortable underwear
  • Take a warm bath to relax if that sounds good

How Much Time to Wait Between Sessions

Your body needs recovery time even when you don't feel sore:

Your Experience Level Wait Time Between Sessions
First month 48 hours minimum
After 1-2 months 2-3 times per week is safe if comfortable
When sizing up 3-4 days between sessions
If you feel any soreness Wait until it's completely gone
Daily use Not recommended, especially for beginners

The key rule: never play again if you still feel sore from last time. Your tissues need time to heal naturally.

FAQs About Using Anal Dildos Safely

Q1: Will this affect my bathroom habits?

No, not with proper use. Your sphincter muscles return to normal function within hours after using beginner-sized toys. You might feel like you need the bathroom right after playing, but that passes quickly and isn't permanent.

Q2: How long until everything goes back to normal?

Most people feel normal within a few hours. You'll notice a relaxed feeling for 15-30 minutes after removing the toy. Any awareness of the area usually fades in 1-2 hours. By the next morning, everything feels like it did before. Larger toys might take 3-4 hours. Light muscle soreness can last until the next day, but that's separate from your muscles returning to their normal tone.

Q3: Can you do this too much?

No. Your tissues need recovery time even without soreness. Daily play doesn't give your body enough time to heal naturally. For the first month, wait 48 hours between sessions. After that, 2-3 times per week is safe for most people. Listen to your body—lingering soreness means you need more time off.

Q4: What if I'm sore the next day?

Light soreness after your first few times is normal, like after a new workout. It should be mild and not hurt when sitting or moving. If you're sore, skip your next session and wait until it's completely gone. You likely pushed too hard, needed more lube, or didn't warm up enough.

Q5: Do I need to prep or clean beforehand?

Not always, but it helps you feel more relaxed. Use the bathroom a few hours before and take a quick shower with mild soap—that's enough. You don't need elaborate cleaning for toy play with beginner friendly anal plugs or small dildos. Some people use an enema, but it's not necessary. If you do, use plain warm water at least an hour before so it drains completely.

Use Anal Dildos Without Worry

Stop stressing about permanent damage—it's not going to happen with proper technique. Get yourself beginner friendly anal plugs or the best anal dildo for first time users, use way more lube than seems necessary, and pay attention to what your body tells you. That's how to safely use an anal dildo in a nutshell. Start small, go at your own speed, and remember that patience now means way better experiences down the road.