Exchanging sexy text messages can feel arousing and hot or lame and cliché. I consider sexting to be a fine art, kind of like singing – anyone can sing, but it doesn’t mean you’re good at it! I have spent the last 10 years perfecting my sexting skills and have been the writer behind many of my friend's steamy messages. Through trial and error, I have unearthed the secrets to sending phenomenal sexts that will have him hard in seconds and you cuming during a steamy session of FaceTime sex.

This year more people have been forced to take their relationship virtual. With travel bans and lockdowns around the country, it isn’t as easy to hook up. But thanks to technology, people can engage in FaceTime sex and get off together. 

Sexting can be foreplay or the main act. It’s like a choose-your-adventure activity. The direction it heads in is up to you.  

Secret #1: Start slow and gradually build intensity

If this is your first time or you are in a new relationship, you should start slow and build in intensity. When you quickly start sending him graphic texts all the time, they can lose their luster. The fact that they are a bit taboo is what makes them so hot. Give him a tease here and there for the biggest impact. Here are a few examples to ease in:

“I can’t stop thinking of the last time we were together!”

“You looked so hot last night!”

“I’d much rather be in bed with you than at work right now… xx”

“I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I was thinking about the last time you touched me...”

These dirty texts will give him an instant shot of arousal. From there, you can build up the intensity.

“I came so hard last night imagining you fucking me.”

“I can’t wait to hear you scream my name when I make you cum later.”

“I want your hard cock in my mouth right now.”

Next, start to really trigger his imagination with some sensual story-telling…

“I want you to rub my clit until I’m begging for you to fuck me. Then, when I can barely take it anymore… I want you to put your hard cock inside me…. fucking me harder and harder as I dig my nails into your back, breathing your name…”

Secret #2: Sext at the right time

Timing is everything. A sext at the wrong time won’t get the response you are hoping for. Before sending a sexually charged message, ask him what he is doing to determine if the timing is appropriate.  

If he just told you his dog died and you follow up with “I want you to cum on my face,” there is a good chance he won’t reciprocate. When he is stressed or pouring his heart out – it's more appropriate to send a sentimental text than a sex text. 

Secret #3: Read the room

As you saw in secret #1, you should start slow. This strategy also helps with secret #3, which is read the room. You really need to pay attention to how he responds. Some people prefer more subtle sexts, and the more graphic ones can put them off, while others like the naughtiest messages you could create. Gradually increase the intensity, see how he responds each time, and try to match where he lands.

Video-chat sex on FaceTime, Whatapp or Skype is a ton of fun. Often referred to as simply “FaceTime sex,” many people are connecting online to have virtual sex. Miley Cyrus recently told Howard Stern, “I do have a lot of FaceTime sex – it’s the safest sex.” Whoever you are virtually banging, it is super-HOT. Sexting secrets 1 to 3 also apply to FaceTime sex, but there are some additional things to consider.

Secret #4: Set up a tripod or use a laptop

It’s tough to pleasure yourself and get those angles. Instead, prop your phone up on your nightstand, get a tripod, or use the webcam on your laptop. This will allow you to finger yourself or use a vibrator and still be able to focus on the video.

Secret #5: Use sex toys and lube

To give yourself incredible toe-curling, mattress-grabbing orgasms, you should get yourself a clit sucking stimulator and a generous amount of lube. Telling him you want him to lick and suck your clit while doing exactly that will make FaceTime pleasure just as good, if not better than the real thing. Prop your camera up, spread your legs, and enjoy the sucking, pulsating and throbbing sensations of your tongue-like vibrator. Not only will you feel incredible, but he will get off just by watching your solo sex scene. If you want to change up the scene, bring your stimulator into the bathtub – it’s completely waterproof!

Secret #6: Dress for the occasion

Sometimes when you are alone in your apartment, and your neighbor’s dog is barking – it can be easy to become distracted and not feel as sexy.  

I find putting on my trashiest lingerie (think crotchless panties and garters) really get me into the mood. Wearing a skirt with no panties also makes me feel sexy. There are no rules here - wear whatever makes you feel sexiest! I mean, after all, technically, you are fucking yourself, right? So, if that’s an oversized t-shirt or leather bodysuit, it doesn’t matter - as long as you are feeling good.

Even the Kardashians are getting in on the virtual sex action. Recently Kourtney Kardashian shared her own five tips to having FaceTime sex – wear your favorite lingerie, loosen up, set the mood, get vocal and use toys and lube. That sounds like great advice to me!

Now is the perfect time to get down digitally. If you are comfortable, horny, and have someone you trust, it’s time to dim the lights, get the toys out and get in on the steamy action everyone is talking about. With these six secrets to sexting and FaceTime Sex, you can experience “the Big O” from behind the screen.