Let me ask you a few personal questions…
- When you think of having sex with your partner, do you instantly become aroused?
- Do you frequently orgasm when having sex?
- Do you spend as much (or more) time dedicated to foreplay as you do penetration?
If you answered “no” to any of these questions, then you NEED to step-up your foreplay game.
Foreplay is a mental and physical practice. There are so many techniques and strategies that will get you dripping wet and result in those back-arching, toe-curling orgasms you are both after.
Both men and women really benefit from foreplay. It’s not just a nicety – it’s a must-have and essential for really great sex. The Journal of Sex Research found that both men and women crave 18 minutes of foreplay before sex. Are you dedicating 18minutes? Most people aren’t, and they’re robbing themselves of the big O!
So, without further ado, I’m going to tell you 7 foreplay techniques you can start using right now that will lead to mind-blowing sex.
- Send a sext (or a nude).
I’m sure you have experienced sexual tension before… it’s when you can physically feel the sexual energy between you and another person. This often happens with a new partner, and the sexual tension can start to dwindle when you are in a long-term relationship. Some people become addicted to this type of mental, sexual tension so they constantly seek new partners to get this high.
You don’t need to find a new partner to create this form of mental foreplay (you’ll see this in technique #7 too). You can recreate these feelings with your long-term partner through some tried-and-true sexting. Send a sexually charged and suggestive message like the following:
“I can’t wait to see you tonight – I’m getting wet just thinking about it!”
The majority of us are often more “visual” - that’s why the porn industry is much bigger than the erotic lit business! Try sending your partner a semi-nude pic. It doesn’t have to be a full-frontal or show your face; a picture of your panty line or your lingerie laid out on your bed will get their imagination going and start building the suspense.
- Dress to impress.
The clothes you wear can play a big role in turning you on, as well as your partner. Wearing sexy lingerie and clothes you feel sexy in will create sexual energy. Go out for dinner and wear a dress or skirt – and no panties. Tell your partner this to build the suspense. He won’t be able to stop thinking about it all through dinner.
If you feel sexy with a red lip and hair down - do it! Your partner will pick up on the confidence and sexual vibes you are putting out there.
- Kiss, lick and suck up and down the body.
Foreplay kissing should be a full-body experience. For an unexpected experience, start near his ankle and kiss your way up the inside of his leg. When you get to his groin, lick the crease of his upper thigh. This is a very sensitive area that will drive him wild. Give him a little tease, licking, sucking, and kissing his penis before kissing up to his nipples and back down again. The suspense will supercharge the arousal! Once you’ve made your way back down, give him a blow job to the brink of orgasm before switching it up.
- Pleasure yourself in front of your partner.
You can turn yourself on and your partner with an erotic display of self-pleasure. Tell your partner you want them to watch you and incorporate sex toys. There is something extra hot about a woman using a vibrator on herself. What will really drive you both crazy is a P-cat. Apply a generous amount of lube, and he can watch and listen as this little toy eats you out. After he has watched you do it, ask him to take over and use the toy on you.
This will create an image that will live in his mind, rent-free for the rest of his life!
- Use handcuffs and a blindfold.
I am in LOVE with handcuffs and blindfolds. You don’t need to wear head-to-toe leather and hold a whip to enjoy the pleasure of dominance and submission. When you take away the ability to touch, move and see, your other senses are enhanced, and every touch is much more intense. I love it both ways, pleasuring my partner who is tied up and also being pleasured tied up. You can use items you have around the house too. I don’t have ties for business meetings – the only reason you will find ties in my drawer is so I can use them to be tied up to my bed and blindfolded. You can tie your partner's arms behind their back or legs together. There are lots of options, and each way creates a unique, erotic experience.
- Give each other a sensual massage.
First off, if you haven’t watched massage porn, google it right now. It’s SO sexy. The oil, sensual lighting, and pleasure focused experience is an incredible turn-on. Light some candles, get some lube or sex-safe massage oil, and lie on your stomach. Have your partner massage your entire body. Watch how wet you will become without any genital stimulation. Just lying there naked and vulnerable creates incredible sexual tension. Have your partner focus on your cheeks and spread your legs so they can massage your upper thigh. The visual for them will be amazing. After about 15 minutes, switch, and massage your partner. Use your body by straddling their back so they can feel how wet you are, or graze your hard nipples along their skin. This experience will create a lot of sexual tension, and you’ll be ready to explode by the time you get to the “main act.”
- Role-play a one-night-stand.
Living out a new scenario or role can create a lot of excitement. It’s the mental foreplay we all need. Sex therapist and SiriusXM Radio Show host Emily Morse, Ph.D., recommends the “one-night stand” scenario. Pretend you are strangers that just met or are on a first date. You create your own backstory with different names. She says, “You get the thrill of a ‘one-night stand’ without the hassle or infidelity.’