The Big O, climax, cuming, ending, peaking, getting off - the list goes on. We have so many words for it, yet many of us are left wondering how to do it!
Female orgasms sometimes seem mystical, don’t they?
There are so many pleasure myths and misconceptions it can leave those who haven’t orgasmed feeling defeated or like something is wrong with them. Let me assure you - that is not the case!
An analysis of 33 studies was published by Harvard University Press in a book entitled The Case of the Female Orgasm. This analysis found that only 25% of women orgasm during vaginal intercourse. To sum up the read, the book showed that you don’t need intercourse to orgasm. You can have the best orgasm of your life sans penis – and I’m about to tell you how!
Create a buzz
If you haven’t tried a vibrator yet, you are missing out! My first-ever orgasm was thanks to a vibrator. If my experience, along with my closest friends' personal testimonials, doesn’t convince you of the powerful orgasmic effect, maybe some cold-hard research will.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a study on the use of vibrators and found that women who used them have better orgasms, increased arousal, lubrication, and decreased pain!
A vibrator can be a solo act, duo, or group performance. If you want to create a buzz in the bedroom, you need to determine what type of vibrator you want. There are so many options out there. To help you pick, think about what you will be using it for – stimulating your clitoris, penetration, or a bit of both? This G Spot Rabbit vibrator does it all! Plus, it’s completely waterproof so you can take the good vibes to the bath. The finest in self-care and self-love!
Start slow, running the vibrator over different parts of your body, feet, legs, and neck before traveling to the hotter erogenous zones, including your lips, genitals, and nipples. Apply some lube for added pleasure and test out different vibration and pulsating settings to create your own pleasure map.
Stop the “peaking pressure”
I don’t know if it’s my performance anxiety or if I just buckle under the pressure, but when I am too focused on reaching orgasm, and there are time constraints - it's just not happening. Oddly enough, thinking “I need to cum, I need to cum” just doesn’t bring on an orgasm. I know I’m not alone here. Sexologist Dr. O’Reilly says that “as you’re less hung up on performance; as you abandon orgasm as a goal, you’ll likely find that pleasure increases and the likelihood of enjoying an orgasm increases.”
Focus on each sensation, every touch, every lick, kiss, and vibration.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, when you stop being so goal-oriented and just enjoy the ride, you have a better chance at having an amazing orgasm!
Do your Kegels
Kegels can take your orgasms from good to toe-curling, sweat dripping, legs trembling great! The stronger your pelvic floor is, the stronger your orgasms will be, and the best way to strengthen it is through consistent Kegels.
Not sure how to Kegel? Next time you go to pee, stop mid-stream. You just did a Kegel. The same muscles you squeeze to stop the flow are the same muscles you are contracting with Kegels. To do these exercises, squeeze these muscles and hold it tight, then release and repeat. Do this 10 times, at least once a day. The beauty of these exercises is you can do them at your next work meeting, and no one will be the wiser.
Stronger muscles will contract more during orgasms, ultimately creating a better O.
Hit the Spot
For many females, the G-spot is the trigger that needs to be pulled for sweet release. You or a partner can stimulate this jewel by inserting a finger into your vagina and curling the finger towards the clit (from inside), and stimulating this area. There is a walnut-sized spot of spongy tissue; this is your G-spot. Roughly two inches above the G-spot, you will find the A-spot.
How do we know these spots create great orgasms? Because science.
Yes, a study showed that stimulating both these spots for 10 to 15 minutes resulted in getting super wet and orgasm. Try a windshield wiper motion here. If you can’t reach, don’t worry. There are toys that can do the work for you.
Foreplay gets the juices flowing. Figuratively and literally. To have a great orgasm, you need to get in the right headspace and increase blood flow and lubrication. If your partner tries to rush foreplay, insist that it is prolonged so that you get more pleasure from this mattress-mambo. Finger and oral pleasure will increase the amount of blood flow down there, which will in turn increase sensitivity and tensed muscles resulting in a BIG O.
If your partner has become a little *boring* in the foreplay department, try incorporating some toys or help guide them with your hands and show them just what you like.
You need to look out for your yoni.
We often become too consumed with what our partners want, and our pleasure takes a backseat, and we don’t end up cuming. Start asking for what you want. There’s a good chance your partner will find it a turn-on anyway.
Get freaky with your fantasies
Sometimes you just need to add a little spice in order to have a great orgasm. For females, orgasms are largely mental, and some psychological stimulation can do wonders. Explore different fantasies on your own, look at a new type of porn, or read erotic stories for inspiration – then imagine these scenarios playing out next time you masturbate or have sex.
Include your partner in your fantasy as well. Try costumes, role-playing, handcuffs, or blindfolds. The options are endless, and the unexpected excitement from a new experience can enhance your pleasure.
You can never predict when those mind-blowing orgasms will happen, but these techniques will help increase your likelihood of having a GREAT orgasm.