Curious about what the butterfly position in sex is all about? It’s a fun and steamy move that many couples love for its closeness and deep connection.
It’s a popular move because it brings your body closer, makes everything feel more intense, and sets the mood for a deeper connection.
In this position, one partner lies on their back at the edge of the bed while the other kneels or stands between their lifted legs, which open up like butterfly wings. It’s simple, sexy, and great for full-body contact and better angles.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to do the butterfly position step by step. Plus, we’ll show you three orgasmic variations that boost intimacy, depth, and pleasure in bed.
What Is the Butterfly Position in Sex? (And Why You’ll Love It)
The butterfly position is a sexy and intimate way to get closer to your partner. It gives you a mix of deep pleasure, comfort, and strong connection. Whether you're into slow and romantic or fast and fiery, this position makes it easy to switch things up without losing rhythm.
Why the Butterfly Position Feels So Good
Here’s how it works:
- You lie on your back at the edge of a bed or couch.
- Your legs are lifted and open, like butterfly wings.
- Your partner kneels or stands between your legs, facing you.
This setup creates amazing angles and lets your partner control how deep and fast they go.
Here’s why so many couples love it:
- Deeper penetration. Great for hitting the G-spot or P-spot with more precision.
- Eye contact and closeness. Your partner stays right before you, perfect for kissing, touching, and sharing the moment.
- More comfort. The bed supports you, so you don’t need to hold yourself up. Just relax and enjoy.
- Easy to change pace. Go slow and sensual, or pick up the tempo. It works both ways without feeling awkward.
The butterfly position is all about pleasure, connection, and finding what feels best for both of you.
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How to Do the Butterfly Position in Sex (Step by Step)
The butterfly position lets you focus on deep penetration, comfort, and easy access for touch. One partner lies on their back at the edge of a bed or table while the other partner stands or kneels in front for control and connection.
Step 1: Get into Position
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This position needs a flat, secure surface that will hold your weight. If the bed is too soft, a table or bench works as long as it is safe.
Ensure there is enough space around you so neither of you feels cramped or at risk of slipping.
Step 2: Align for Perfect Penetration
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Take your time here. If needed, shift your hips or the height of the surface until you are both comfortable. Be patient and go gradually, especially if you have never tried this angle.
Step 3: Control the Rhythm
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If you want, try switching up the tempo during sex. Slower movement can build pleasure, and touching the right spots can add to the experience. Listen to your partner and check in often to keep things comfortable and enjoyable.
3 Sexy Variations of the Butterfly Position to Try Tonight
Adding small changes to the Butterfly position can create new sensations and help couples find what feels best.
Moving your body just a little allows you to adjust angles, depth, and how connected you feel with your partner.
1. The Pillow Lift Butterfly
Before you lie back at the edge of the bed, place a thick pillow, folded blanket, or wedge under your hips. This raises your pelvis so your partner gets a better angle.
The extra lift can make penetration deeper and lets your partner hit sensitive spots like the G-spot or prostate. It also relieves pressure on your lower back, which helps you stay comfortable.
Benefits:
- Deeper and more direct penetration.
- Better G-spot or prostate stimulation.
- Easier for you to tilt your hips for extra comfort.
Try different pillow heights or softness to see what works. It’s easy to adjust and simple to add to the regular Butterfly position.
2. Standing Butterfly
For the Standing Butterfly, the partner being penetrated stays at the edge of the bed or table, lying back as usual. But now, the other partner stands tall and remains fully upright.
This variation gives:
- More control to the standing partner over speed and depth.
- Stronger eye contact and a more “powerful” vibe if you enjoy that.
- Easier, quicker access if you want a fast and exciting session.
You can wrap your arms around your partner’s waist or legs for stability. Make sure the edge you use is sturdy and comfortable for your back.
3. Legs-On-Shoulders Butterfly
For this version, lie back to your hips at the edge, then lift both legs onto your partner’s shoulders. Your partner stands and supports your legs gently.
Lifting your legs gives you:
- An even deeper angle for penetration.
- A feeling of closeness since your bodies are pressed together.
- Room for slow grinding, which makes things more sensual.
It does stretch your legs, so only go as far as what feels good. Rest your hands on your partner’s arms or the bed for extra balance. This position works best if you take your time and move slowly.
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Tips to Make the Butterfly Position Even Hotter
Adding a few extra steps can help turn good sex into great sex. Small changes like using toys, switching up movements, and sharing what feels good all help you and your partner connect more.
Add a Vibrator (Game-Changer!)
Use a small vibrator or bullet vibe for extra stimulation during the butterfly position. Place it on the clitoris while your partner penetrates you.
This creates direct clitoral stimulation, which is important for many women to feel more pleasure or reach orgasm.
You can hold the vibrator in place yourself or have your partner help. A wireless or waterproof vibrator usually works best because it’s less bulky and easy to move.
- Pick a quiet toy if you want things to be discreet
- Clean the vibrator before and after use for safety
- Use water-based lube for extra comfort
Mixing penetration with a vibrator targets both internal and external pleasure spots.
Play with Speed & Depth
Changing how fast or how deep your partner thrusts can make the butterfly position feel completely different. Start with gentle, shallow movements to build anticipation. Then switch to deep, more vigorous thrusts for more intensity.
You do not need to move at the same speed the whole time. Taking breaks and mixing it up keeps the feeling from getting boring.
- Try slow strokes, then some quick, deep thrusts
- Ask your partner if something feels too fast or too deep
- Adjust the angle by moving closer to or farther from the bed’s edge
This back-and-forth change helps boost arousal and let both partners learn what feels best.
Eye Contact & Dirty Talk
Looking into each other’s eyes builds trust and makes sex feel more personal. The butterfly position is excellent because the person lying down can easily look up at their partner.
Talking during sex is also powerful. Telling your partner what you want, or saying how good something feels, can make the moment more intense.
Some ways to try this:
- Whisper what you want your partner to do next
- Use short, clear words or phrases
- Keep your eyes open and focused
Eye contact and honest words give you more confidence and help you enjoy each moment.
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Conclusion: Time to Spread Your Wings in the Bedroom
The butterfly position is simple but powerful. It mixes control, connection, and deep pleasure for you and your partner.
This position is a great choice if you want better access and a new angle. You can control the rhythm and the depth, making things feel just right.
Want to try something new on your own? Use a pillow under your hips and see how it feels. This can help get used to the shape before sharing it with a partner.
Talk about what feels good with a partner. Use your spread legs to guide each other for comfort and fun.
So go ahead, lift, spread, and let the butterfly take you to new orgasmic heights.
Frequently Asked Questions
This section covers common concerns and details about the butterfly position. You’ll find direct answers about comfort, effectiveness, use with toys, and the name’s meaning.
Does the Butterfly Position Hurt?
The butterfly position should not hurt if you and your partner communicate and move gently. Some people report mild discomfort if flexibility or comfort is ignored. If you experience pain, stop immediately and try to adjust your body or use pillows for support. Always listen to your body.
Is the Butterfly Position Good for G-Spot Orgasms?
The angle of the butterfly position allows for deeper penetration compared to standard missionary. This can help with G-spot stimulation for some people.
Everybody is different, and results may vary. Communication with your partner can help you find the right angle for your needs.
Is the Butterfly Position Good for Quickies?
Yes, the butterfly position can be a good choice for a quick encounter because it is easy to set up. One partner lies on their back at the edge of the bed while the other stands or kneels.
If you want something fast and simple, this position can work well. Little to no preparation is needed.
Why is it called the butterfly position?
It gets this name because the partner lying down often has their legs open and bent outward, which looks similar to butterfly wings.
The pose is recognizable because of its shape and visual similarity to how butterflies hold their wings.
Can you use toys in the butterfly position?
Yes, you can use toys like vibrators or plugs during the butterfly position. One partner has free hands, making adding extra stimulation easier. Handle toys with care and choose toys meant for your comfort and safety. Pairing toys with this position can boost pleasure for both partners.