Mutual masturbation – when you and a partner (or more) masturbate together, touching either your own genitals, each other's genitals and bodies, or all of the above – is an often overlooked, and very fun, way to learn more about your own sexuality and your partner's.
This is also a chance to show your partner what sensations you enjoy, where, and in what ways. And it's a chance for you to watch your partner explore themselves and learn the same things. It can be done even with clit sucking vibrators, which can bring on new sensations.
For folks who orgasm easily alone and less easily with partners, it can be a way to bridge the gap between solo and partnered sex, both since you're explicitly in control of your own pleasure and orgasm and because your partner can learn more about how you like to be touched.
And it's a great way to have sex long-distance, too, whether over the phone or on a FaceTime sexting session.
Why You Should Say Yes to Mutual Masturbation
There are so many good reasons to masturbate with a partner, but it's okay if you feel a little hesitant. For many of us, masturbation is tied up in a culture of shame around our bodies and the sexual pleasure they're capable of experiencing.
Many of us consider masturbation to be too private to share with a partner. It can also feel really vulnerable, and not necessarily in a hot way, to have a partner staring at your genitals as you masturbate in whatever ways you don't usually share with anyone. Plus, when you're already committed to the moment of being sexy with a partner, sometimes it feels easier to just have sex in your usual ways.
But the next time you find yourself and your partner with only a few minutes to connect with each other, or tired sexually but also horny after a long day, or apart for a night or two, try mutual masturbation.
Here are a few reasons why you should say yes to mutual masturbation.
Better connection with your partner
This practice can help you connect better with your partner, while understanding what are the things they like and make them feel that intense pleasure every one of us is seeking.
This way, your sex life can become more exciting, especially if you also use the cheap sex toys from Tracy's Dog collection.
No risk of STI
Besides the fact that mutual masturbation can be a really relaxing and pleasurable activity, it also reduces STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) risks to zero because you don't change bodily fluids. This is always a plus, as safer sex acts should always be a priority.
There's no risk for STIs because there is no physical contact (through penetrative sex) between partners. And if you also try one of the best masturbation positions, things can become really intense.
Sex and orgasms can help a lot with your mood. When we reach orgasms, the brain begins to release dopamine and serotonin, which are responsible for feelings of well-being, relaxation, and tiredness, which may lead you to a great nap.
Therefore, when your mood suffers but your libido is insufficient for penetrative sex, mutual masturbation can be the ideal solution for your sexual wellness.
How to Start With Mutual Masturbation
As we mentioned at the start of this ultimate guide, masturbating with a partner can be intimidating at first because we are used to keeping such activities private.
But, given the benefits and opportunities that such an activity might provide, it is worthwhile to give it a try. You can even do a little research on mutual masturbation porn videos, to build up the anticipation.
So, we'll go over some tips to help you get started with mutual masturbation for the first time.
Try Different Positions
Lying on your backs parallel to each other in bed is one way to mutually masturbate, especially if you just want to get off together and fall asleep or go about your days – but it's far from the only way.
If you want to stay in bed, face each other on your sides. If you normally masturbate on your stomach, try mutually masturbating when you're on your stomach. Or, have one person straddle the other's chest for a close-up view.
If you want to take it beyond the bed, try sitting up across from each other, whether on opposite ends of the couch (with towels down) or in chairs across the room. You can also try it with one person sitting on a higher surface – like the bed, a chair, or a table, depending on your level of privacy – while the partner lies on a lower one – like the floor or a lower chair – for eye contact.
Use Your Hands
For many of us, our hands are our first and most familiar sex toys. Even if you're more of a sex toy person, using your hands while a partner watches is a great way to tune them into how you want them to use their hands on you during partnered sex.
Use Sex Toys
Whether an old favorite or a new one, bringing a sex toy into mutual masturbation can take things to a next level.
Some of us wouldn't think twice before using a vibrator near a partner, whether they're inside of us or not, but for others, it can be challenging to remember to prioritize our own pleasure during sex.
Even if you know that you are in charge of your own pleasure, whether you're having sex with just yourself or in a room full of people, in mutual masturbation, it can feel more organic. A clitoral-sucking toy like the P. Cat, depending on how you hold it, can allow your partner to watch your labia change with arousal or give you room to also use your fingers.
It can be erotic to explore a new sex toy for the first time while a partner watches. It can be more high stakes than a solo exploration, and can sometimes be a little awkward, especially because people masturbate alone usually.
On the other hand, if you'd typically try a new sex toy for the first time while in bed with a partner, masturbating with it in front of them is a way to share the joy of discovery while tuning in to what sort of stimulation you get excited about. Everybody wins.